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I am so glad I found this group I thought I was going mad… that I was the only one who felt like this when nursing. This also can cause feelings of guilt over having to end breastfeeding before a mother or infant was ready. Some mothers have to wean due to experiencing BAA, if it is long-lasting or severe, or if they do not know what it is. Many don’t tell anyone, and struggle with an ‘internal conflict’ of wanting to breastfeed, but once engaging in the activity, experiencing aversion toward it. Mothers feel a great sense of shame and guilt due to these negative feelings and intrusive thoughts. Then I feel so guilty it hurts.” –Hanna Guilt and Shame All I think about now is leaving, running away when he suckles. I used to LOVE breastfeeding and we had such a good relationship. I get so angry, like a rage when my son latches now, and I am not sure why. I didn’t actually know there was a term for this. However, the expression or manifestation of aversion is similar, with mothers describing very similar feelings and thoughts, often using the exact same phrases (Yate, 2017). The phenomenon of BAA is known to exist in varying degrees and durations, along a spectrum that is individual for each mother – as the onset and severity is unpredictable. These feelings disappear after the infant stops breastfeeding and is not latched. Thoughts and feelings about being ‘touched out’.Wanting to ‘pinch’ the infant or child so they stop suckling.Overwhelming urge to stop breastfeeding.Wanting to ‘run away’ so as to not be feeding.She told police that Satan was inside her and that she was trying to save them from hell.Intrusive thoughts are known to occur in motherhood (Kleiman, 2010), but with BAA these appear to be specific to breastfeeding and can include, but are not at all limited to:
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Yates filled a bathtub with water, police and court records show, and drowned her five children in the family’s bathtub one by one. Yates went on to have a fifth child after that warning. Yates could suffer another psychotic episode if she had more children. Yates “among the five sickest patients she had ever seen,” warned the Yateses in 1999 that Ms. Eileen Starbranch, who told the court that she ranked Ms. Yates had a long history of mental illness, that she had been in and out of mental institutions for years and that she had attempted suicide several times. Mental health experts who testified in the trials told jurors that Ms. He said it was summed up recently by a writer in an opinion piece in a local newspaper who said, “why don’t we just let her go.” Yates, partly because of a growing public sentiment in the past five years that seemed to support her insanity plea. They believed that, he told reporters, “because she knew it was a sin, because she knew it was legally wrong, because she knew society would disapprove of her actions.”īut he said Harris County prosecutors would probably not bring further charges against Ms. I’m so proud of the jury for seeing past that.” “Did they think that we, her family on either side, want Andrea to be in prison? Is it of any public benefit for Andrea to be in prison? Is she a danger to anyone? It’s amazing to me. “Did they think our children want Andrea to be in prison?” he asked reporters outside the courtroom. He talked about how the prosecution showed pictures of the couple’s five children before their deaths to the jury, hoping to convince them prison was the best resolution for Ms. Today, her former husband, Rusty Yates, who has sat through most of the retrial, said he was glad the jury accepted the insanity plea instead of sending Ms.
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Last year, an appeals court overturned the conviction after finding that a prosecution witness provided false testimony during her trial. She has not been tried in the deaths of the other two. Yates’s insanity defense, found her guilty of capital murder, and sentenced her to life in prison for the drowning of three of her children.